The Oddness That Surrounds Hyrule Castle Part 2
by The Final Keychain Bearer
Summary: Part 2 is finally here! Didn't plan on a Part 2 but since I have no life..here we are! Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**The Oddness That Surrounds Hyrule Castle: Part 2**

In a land where creatures thought long forgotten roam free and wreak havoc, one man takes up the mantle as protector. He then realizes later that the monsters are hard as hell to beat and then offs himself. That leaves only one person left to protect us all (no not Chuck Norris, who apparently can beat the sun in a staring contest), you guessed it! LINK!!! And his faithful (and totally kick ass) companion Sheik. After saving Hyrule Castle (again) from Dark Link, the two set off to explore the rest of Hyrule in an epic adventure filled with action, adventure (der), and extremely funny situations that will probably result in this story being rated T. So yeah the two are now on the road traveling by foot (if you read the first part you might be able to guess what is going to happen next).

**Chapter One**

**On the Road:**

"For the love of god I need a break! My feet are KILLING me!" Link complained.

"WHAT did I say about complaining?" Sheik said as she hefted an even bigger paddle.

"You know honestly I forget. I was cleaning out my ears at the time and all I heard was mumbling. You should really speak up you know." Link said.

Yeah…you _know_ he is going to get his ass kicked now. Hell the story might end right here and now for all I know.

"Yes you are right. I should stop mumbling" Sheik said quietly

"_What?" _Link asked incredulously.

_WHAT?_ When the hell did Sheik become so…so neutral? For those of you that read the first part you must know Sheik's usual….abrasive personality. Well apparently she has had a change of heart.

"Yeah. I should stop mumbling, and I should start YELLING MY FREAKING HEAD OFF!!!!" Sheik screamed.

Well so much for a change of heart. Maybe a change in vocalization, but not heart.

"OW! My ears! Oh crap I _really_ can't hear now!" Link yelled in pain.

"Really? Don't say anything if you want me to kick your ass now" Sheik experimented.

"Oh my god it's a miracle I can hear again"

"Uh-huh. Going to kick your ass anyway"

"Oh god no! _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"_

Well obviously Sheik took her enlarged paddle and, well paddled Link into oblivion. After Link explored oblivion for awhile he decided it was time to get back and continue the storyline.

"Wha-where am I?" Link asked groggily.

"Mmm? Oh we are still on the road. You passed out before I even hit you. I laughed so hard that my eyes flew out of my head. Man you should have seen yourself faint!" Sheik said while laughing uncontrollably.

"Gah. Anyway I think we should head for town. Our supplies are running low."

"What supplies? We left with a backpack full of potions that what, help us feel better? What the hell are you a drug addict?" Sheik said accusingly.

Even as she said this Link was pulling out the cork of another potion that supposedly gives you wings (don't sue me!). So yeah I think he is a drug addict.

"Hey are you listening to me?" Sheik asked, dangerously close to killing Link (again..).

"Yes mom. So yeah sorry for not taking supplies, we left in kind of a hurry."

"Hurry? It was a complete 3 months before we left! What the hell were you doing all that time?"

"I can't remember. I think I blacked out after the battle with Dark Link. I mean it _was _one of the weirdest adventures I've been on. And after I saved Zelda she said only an hour had passed. So sorry for not remembering." Link apologized.

"Yeah yeah you and your excuses. Any who we should stop bickering and get to town, I need a hot bath." Sheik said.

"Mind if I join you?" Link asked seductively (uhh….).

Whoops wrong move. Considering her personality she screams no and beats the living daylights out of Link. And also, considering that there is some speculation that Sheik is actually a _boy_, well that just screws this up entirely. I don't understand, if Zelda disguises herself as Sheik, why would she turn herself into a boy (for the record Zelda is not Sheik in this story). Anyway after the initial beating, they head to town for some much needed rest. But real quick…

**Random Inn:**

"Hey they have a Jacuzzi in here!" Link exclaimed.

"What the hell is a Jacuzzi?" Sheik asked.

Ok now if you read the first part you BETTER know what is going to happen next. A completely unrelated person to this story appears out of no where and explains that a Jacuzzi is a high powered mini pool that is at a hot temperature and relaxes the muscles. After explaining that, he did the exact opposite of what those of you might expect (if you read part 1). His form began to distort and he slowly changed shape. After a few seconds he slowly began to resemble something like…like…DARK LINK?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Ok we last left off with our two heroes about to take a hot bath (separately…perverts) when the C.U.P. appeared and started to morph into a sinister shape…. It began to look like…DARK LINK!?

**Random Inn:**

"IM BACK!!!" Dark Link yelled.

But of course Link and Sheik were completely occupied with something. Link was playing with his PSP, and Sheik was looking dead at Dark Link but just wanted to hold up the storyline.

"Hello? Will you tell this idiot I'm here?" Dark Link asked Sheik.

"Nah let him figure it out, should be good for him." Sheik said, laying on the bed for some sleep.

"But that could take ages!" Dark Link complained.

And he was right. Link was completely unaware that his old enemy was just sitting right under his nose. Over 2 hours passed before Link finally said something.

"Hey!" Link yelled

"FINALLY!" Dark Link said in triumphant.

"What the hell is this thing in my hand? Some type of hand held machine. Pretty lights"

If this had been one of those cartoons, Dark Link would have fallen flat on his face right now. Instead he just rammed his sword into his gut and died slowly on the floor.

"Oh hey Dark Link when did you get here?" Link asked (finally)

"Ugh, about 2 hours ago. Damn you're freaking slow." Dark Link said as his guts spilled on the floor.

"Holy crap what happened to you?" Link asked

"You know forget it I give up trying to kill you. I can only hope that one day you will fall down some stairs or something and never get up. But considering that you are YOU that might not be a possibility."

"Well that wasn't very nice"

"To hell with being nice man I-" Dark Link was about to say when Sheik appeared out of nowhere and kicked him in the head (several times…with a spiked boot that she didn't seem to have until this very moment in time). After she was down, well you honestly don't want to know what his head looked like. Just think of mashed potatoes.

"OMG!! Why did you do that?" Link yelled in fright.

"He was getting on my nerves. Plus we would have to kill him anyway. Most likely it would have been me since you are completely useless with that sword of yours." Sheik said as she mopped off her boot and dumped the body in the freezer.

"Hey what did you just dump him in?" Link asked

"I honestly don't know. But knowing the narrator if we ask what it is another one of those idiots will pop up and do something completely random so let's just leave it at that."

Oh gosh Sheik you know me so well. Well that was a close enough thing to a question as I have seen so here goes. _Another_ C.U.P. came out of nowhere and explained what a freezer was; at least he tried to before Sheik took Link's sword from its sheath and rammed it into the guys head in one swift motion. She then dumped _that_ body in the freezer. After this display of brutality, Link's face resembled something like this _o_.

"H-holy crap. I can't believe you just did that. Man keep the sword, I don't want to be implicated when those bodies are found." Link said as he slowly backed away from Sheik.

"Really? Thought you wouldn't mind. Guess I shouldn't have worn these gloves then." Sheik said with a smile.

"Aww crap! Oh man oh man oh man, I'm a freaking murder suspect now! Mmm, this might be kinda cool actually. You know on the run, every corner filled with danger. Alright I'm ok now. Let's go partner in crime." Link said cheerfully.

"I knew you would see the dark" Sheik said as she wiped the sword and gave it back to Link.

Well now, this is certainly a completely twisted twist now isn't it? Wonder how all this is going to play out, with Link being a fugitive now. Yes they did wipe the sword, but they registered under Link's name at the Inn, and well there are two bodies stuffed in the freezer as of now, so he is SCREWED! After they finished packing, Link took hold of the freezer and decided he should dump it in the river across the Inn. He arrived at the stairs and was about to go down the first step when _I _came up behind and shoved him down the stairs. He tumbled down about 10 flights of stairs before arriving at the bottom (and Dark Link is laughing his ass off in the Other World praising the narrator), and when he did the freezer flew open and the bodies literally flew across the room, out the door, and into the river.

"OMIGOD!" a guy completely unrelated to this story screamed, "My shoe is untied".

Just for the utter stupidity of that remark, that person gets blasted by a random meteor that just happened to be having dinner just a few feet from him. Surrounding peoples faces resembled O_O from that _and_ the two bodies that just flew out the door.

"Oh crap I'm boned" Link said as about 20 pairs of eyes turned toward him and the bloodied freezer.

Wow this is getting weird. Usually Link is the hero, now I just turned him into a possible homicidal maniac. Sheik was already there so no bother to her. Well I'm going to try and figure out how the hell Link being a lunatic is going to fit into this story. YOU on the other hand shall read this chapter and the one before and REVIEW IT! Please? Any negative remarks are welcome, but positive even more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Well we last left our heroes (question mark?) in yet another situation where anything can and will happen. Link was staring dumbfounded at everyone else at the restaurant, they likewise, because of the bloodied freezer lying just a few feet away and of course because of the bodies that just flew out the door. Sooo here we go.

"OMIGOD! He's a murderer! Help! Police!" Sheik began yelling.

"Wha-WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ON!" Link yelled at her.

"Help he is touching me! Police!"

"Uhhh…that's not me .."

A little boy of about 20 was poking Sheik in the butt for some reason. Since Sheik is a homicidal maniac she took hold of a metal bar and swung it at the boy, who was sent flying out the door, into the street, and in the way of a horse wagon that was flying by at about 60 miles per hour. In turn the little boy was sent flying (again) into the side of an angry bull, that of course got even angrier and started to bash the boy with its horns. This little display of violence was viewed by everyone in the restaurant, which implicated Sheik as well.

"HA! Karma is a bitch isn't it!" Link said triumphantly

"Oh shut up! We have to get out of here before the police come!" Sheik was saying as she packed up their stuff and pushed him out the door. For some reason the people of the restaurant didn't seem overly interested about the two murderers running out the door away from the police.

"So how bout them Lakers?" Some random patron asked another.

"What the hell is a "Laker"? Another patron asked.

And of course that is the C.U.P.'s cue to explain. But considering how he was just murdered and thrown into the lake his accountant had to take his place. SHE isn't the type to explain, but to overreact to the slightest thing, which in this case would be a simple question.

"&%*$%^#$^&#*^(%&$*^%*$(*&%^%ftyufkgygfUIYGL" the Accountant screamed as she hefted a bomb and strapped it to her chest.

"WHOA! Hey lady calm down what is the matter with you?" The first patron asked

Which was a mistake, since questions piss her off.

"…&%*$%^#$^&#*^(%&$*^%*$(*&%^%FJKGDSHGSKNBSHU&^%#^#$%^&$*%(&^%$UIYGL!" she screamed even louder and detonated the bomb.

A resulting outburst of flame came from the restaurant, which incinerated the entire town EXCEPT of course our two fugitives. Since the town didn't seem to have an actual police force within it, someone was sent to the next town to go get theirs. The police arrived just in time to see our two fugitives fighting over a bomb that seemed to fall from the sky, arguing whether or not they should throw it away.

"I don't want it! You take it!" Link yelled

"You take it I've spent enough time in jail you jerk!" Sheik yelled back

"You there! Halt your under arrest!" The police officer said.

"Oh crap! Whats that beeping sound!" Link asked hysterically

He had pressed the detonation button on accident and they all 10 seconds to duck and cover.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE COPPERS!" Sheik screamed as she tossed the bomb at the police, grabbed Link by the shirt, and pulled him down into the river.

The cop in the lead caught the bomb by reflex, had just enough time to see the 1 second indicator, and then was caught in the huger explosion that took place when the bomb exploded. THAT explosion took out anything in the surround radius (that was left) and evaporated the river Link and Sheik were hiding in. Sheik was putting on her clothes and Link had a satisfied look on his face (OMG WTF!).

"What just happened?" Link asked bewildered.

"I just saved your ass from an explosion. My clothes somehow fell off when we jumped in the river." Sheik explained.

"Well there's no more river, that must have been a pretty strong bomb. Wow there's nothing left to incriminate us woohoo!" Link whooped

Just then a blimp that seemed to have mastered the art of news media floated by with the entire fiasco with the freezer and the bomb replaying over and over again. As Link and Sheik's faces appeared the video froze, zoomed in, and put name tags on both of them and placed a 1 million dollar bounty: dead or alive.

"I hate you" Link said to Sheik simply

Then they ran for their lives.


	4. Chapter 4

**This one is a lot shorter than the others because I kind of blanked out due to my new story I'm focusing on :D. I think I have like ADD or something considering how I've finished like 1 story out of the 3 (soon to be 4) I have up.**

**Chapter Four**

We last left our…well they definitely aren't heroes anymore now that they are pretty much convicted mass murderers…so we left our confused potential villains running for their lives since just about every bounty hunter alive were gunning for them. The sudden introduction to news media in this medieval time period led to the rapid development and growth of multiple cities and this potential 13th or 15th century time period super jumped into the 22nd century with all the gizmos we enjoy today and more in like an hour (this is FanFiction so yeah). HA HOWS THAT FOR A TWIST…well another one anyway.

**On the Hover Highway:**

As the name implies yes there are hover cars now. Big transition from horses.

"I'm not even going to ask how all this is possible because I'm going to kill the author of this story if he tries to explain it to me" Sheik said, meaning the super jump into the future.

Well Sheik you see since I AM the author I can whatever the hell I want! So ha!

"You better watch your tone with me" Sheik said venomously

What! You can hear me!

"Yeah you idiot. I've BEEN able to hear you this entire time and in the other story. I just never really felt like talking back until now"

Well…that's interesting to say the least. So I don't suppose Link can hear me to?

"Hear you? The idiot is down on his knees praying right now because he thinks your God or something. He keeps asking for a sign that he is the chosen one or something like that" Sheik said with a wave of her hand.

Really? I guess I should give him one…ok uhhh how about a giant rock that falls from the sky with big letters saying "LINK. YOU ARE THE CH ONE!"

"The ch one? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Beats me, he can interpret it anyway he pleases. Stop talking to me please so I can get on with this story?

"No problem. Link! Get up we gotta keep moving!" Sheik said as she kicked Link in the face.

"OW! Why did u do that!" Link yelled at her while trying to stick his nose back into place.

"Because I frickin felt like it you got a problem with that?"

"Uhh…no ma'm" Link replied nervously.

Just then a random bounty hunter leapt out of a passing hover car from above, landed with the grace of a dancer, and charged Link with a giant curved knife aimed at his throat. Before anyone could react, a giant boulder (:D) fell out of the sky and crushed him. Neither Link nor Sheik took any notice of this display of random violence.

"So where we heading now?" Sheik asked

"Well since we are on the run I figured we should go back to Hyrule and see if the King will grant us a pardon or something. He kinda owes me for saving his daughter all the time" Link said proudly

"Or he might decide to off us instead since we are WANTED CRIMINALS you idiot! But it's worth a shot" Sheik said as she began walking down the road back to Hyrule.

Just then ANOTHER bounty hunter leapt out of a hover car from above, landed on his face with the grace of a rock, got up and shook himself off and charged after Link with a broad sword of all things. He was about to slash at Links neck from behind when a drunk driver flew out of control, nailed the guy head on and sent him flying back up into the sky. As he was about to land Sheik kicked her leg up in a 360 degree arc and nailed him in the face with her spiked boot. She honestly didn't even realize she did it because it's like second nature to her and Link was too busy trying to decipher what Ch one meant.


End file.
